Melania has a new job giving wedding speeches and signing personalized condolence cards

Melania has a new gig, guys.

The former first lady can now be booked for wedding speeches, graduation ceremonies, baby showers, etc., etc.

This week, Assets launched a new website that allows anyone to invite them to special events and other public engagements. You can also request personalized messages from the couple, or just extend your own thoughts and prayers.

The “About” section of has an 850-word summary of Trump’s tenure, highlighting his “greatest accomplishments” while making absolutely no mention of his countless scandals, corruption investigations, two highlights. accusation or insurgency on the US Capitol that has reserved his presidency.

Meanwhile, on the “Contact” page, people have the option of sending their thoughts to Donald or Melania or both, as well as making a scheduling request or requesting a personalized greeting.

“Please allow up to 6 weeks for your request to be processed,” the website reads. “Due to the volume of welcome requests the President and Ms. Trump receive, we will not be providing status updates.

If they handle requests like Trump handled the construction of that stupid wall that was never built, people can probably expect to wait a lot longer than six weeks to hear from the Florida couple.

In other Melania news, relationship expert and life coach John Kenny recently spoke to Express to try and decode her body language amid rumors she and Donald could get a divorce.

According to Kenny, Melania’s true feelings can be read “in her body language and behavior.”

“She can realize that she has chosen to be with someone who is not good for her, as her actions dictate, that even in public, she finds it difficult not to show her emotions”, he pontificates. “It shows from his body language and his demeanor.”

Kenny also commented on a recent statement made by the former first lady’s office on the current state of her marriage, in which she accused the media of having an “unhealthy obsession” with her.

Ms. Trump is no longer the First Lady. She is a citizen, a mother and a wife. The sources for this article are not affiliated with her and have no insight into her thoughts or daily life. CNN’s FLOTUS correspondent choosing to post fake gossip illustrates the media’s unhealthy obsession.

– Office of Melania Trump (@OfficeofMelania) February 13, 2021

“Her comment about an unhealthy obsession with her relationship is probably due to the emphasis she puts on it herself,” he says. “She may be defending his relationship, because now he is no longer president, she can speak.”

“But maybe she struggles with people who showcase her true emotions. The truth can be difficult to face, especially if you are constantly reminded of it. “

Graham Gremore is editor and editor at Queerty. Follow him on Twitter @grahamgremore.

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