Lady Gaga has revealed that she remained pregnant after being raped as a teenager.
On Friday, May 21, the “Born This Way” singer was featured in the first episode of Oprah Winfrey and Prince Harry’s Apple TV + documentary series The Me You Can’t See.
During their conversation, Gaga spoke openly about the traumatic event after publicly disclosing the sexual assault in 2014.
“I was 19 and I worked in the company, and a producer said to me, ‘Take off your clothes’,” she recalls with tears in her eyes. “And I said no. And I left, and they told me they were going to burn all my music. And they didn’t stop. They kept asking me, and I just froze and I just – I don’t. I don’t even remember it. “
After the attack, Gaga remembered that she was in severe pain and then went numb.
“And then I was sick for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks after, and I realized it was the same pain I felt when the person who raped me. dropped off pregnant in a corner of my parents’ house because I was throwing up and sick. Because I had been abused. I was locked in a studio for months, ”she revealed.
Gaga said she has the utmost respect for survivors who publicly call their attackers by name. For her situation, she does not want to name her attacker because she never wants to see this person again.
The pain caused Gaga to experience a “psychotic break”. She noted that she was not the same person and that the pain itself was indescribable.
“I’ve had so many MRIs and scans where they can’t find anything. But your body remembers. I didn’t feel anything, I dissociated myself. It’s like your brain is disconnecting, ”she explained.
She described the feeling as a “dark cloud following you wherever you go, telling you that you are worthless and that you should die”.
Gaga has revealed that she recently self-inflicted herself. She admitted that the self-harm only made the person worse.
“You think you’re going to feel better because you’re showing someone, ‘Hey, look, it’s hurting.’ It doesn’t help. I always tell people, ‘Tell somebody, don’t show somebody,’ ”she said.
Gaga confirmed that recovery is an ongoing process that must be taken seriously. She added that “even though I have a brilliant six months, it only takes firing once to feel bad, and when I say feel bad, I mean, I wanna cut, think about dying.”
Gaga advised those who have been through a traumatic event to find someone to validate them and shared that the healing process is not easy.
“Everyone thinks [healing] is a straight line, it’s like all other viruses. That you get sick and get well. But it’s not like that, it’s not like that, ”she concluded.
